Stupid Things People Do: Naming Beyonce “World’s Most Beautiful Woman”

Every year, publicists for celebrities put in a bid with People Magazine agreeing to supply them with the most exclusive stories and photo spreads in exchange for the title of World’s Most Beautiful Woman. This year’s winning bid apparently came from Beyonce and her hard working publishing team because last week, People Magazine crowned her the most beautiful human being among 6 billions out there.

After doing what cockroaches, stink beetles, whales, and all other life forms do on this Earth – birthing – Beyonce attempted to make herself, her gold gilded vagina and cashmere laced uterus stand out from the rest of humanity and all life forms for that matter by citing that she felt more beautiful than ever after having given birth and that doing what every cockroach is capable of doing finally gave her purpose in life.

I don’t know. Try giving birth in a mud shack or a village with no running water instead of occupying an entire wing of a hospital at a whopping $1.3 million with all the doctors and nurses and staff ready to cater to your every whim and fancy, and then we can talk about your “accomplishment” of having given birth.

And no matter, it is insulting to be picking an individual among six billion out there and calling them the most beautiful person on Earth, thus indirectly declaring others average or even ugly. No wonder so many women have image and self esteem issues with eating disorders and getting plastic surgery to “fit” in. They all want to adhere to some “standard’ of beauty that is not even a standard and the methods by which one arrives at that conclusion questionable.

To even think that among the six billion on this planet some rich bitch with a million dollar wig collection, a $10,000 a day stylist and a $3000 hair cut has truly deserved that title is ridiculous. I mean yeah, who wouldn’t look good after all this work. Try looking glowing and gorgeous without rubbing your face, literally, in dollar bills and all the beauty they can buy and then we can talk how truly beautiful you are.

In a world obsessed with youth and beauty but plagued with serious issues, I must wonder if it is an accomplishment to win a contest that is based on how you look like as opposed to what you actually do.

And is it an accomplishment to win a beauty contest when you basically cheated? Winning a beauty contest when you are wealthy and have nothing better to do than looking good is like winning the marathon after you did steroids. It doesn’t count.

I really detest how people with unlimited resources stand there insulting our intelligence by saying “Hey, look at me, I am so accomplished“, pretending that their “accomplishment” – such as being pretty or getting pregnant despite cancer etc. – had nothing to do with their wealth, but was something from within. Like Beyonce would still be nominated most beautiful woman if she was cleaning toilets at Grand Central station instead of sitting on 500 million dollars.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and Beyonce is pretty, but most beautiful? Especially given the unlimited resources she had to get there? I don’t think so.

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