Stephen Colbert Offers Donald Trump One Million Dollars and His Balls

Over the past few years, Donald Trump has moved from being a pretentious asshole to a stark, raving lunatic. The fuckery  and with it the path to complete and utter lunacy laced with a large portion of assholishness started with Trump’s incessant demands for Obama to publish his birth certificate to show to the world that he is, in fact, not some communist Kenyan on a secret mission from Mars to destroy the United States and it ended with Trump offering Obama $5 milion to a charity of his choice if Obama released all college and passport records to him by Halloween, October 31st. 

Dystopian Assholes in a Bunch

Last night, Stephen Colbert had a very special proposition of his own for Trump:

“Mr Trump, I will write you a check for $1 million dollars from Colbert Super PAC – you know I’ve got it – to the charity of your choice. Anything. Save The Children. Feed The Children. Put The Children on Child Apprentice, whatever! One million actual dollars, if you will let me dip my balls in your mouth – one million. But… this dipping, and I hope you’re listening very carefully Mr Trump. This dipping has to be to my and more importantly, my balls’ satisfaction. One caveat… one caveat. My balls must be in your mouth no later than 5pm October 31st.”

Crude as the response may be, Colbert is actually right on.  Trump’s proposition was pretty damn rude and the equivalent of asking Obama to engage in a humiliating act for no fucking good reason other than to mock the President and satisfy Trump’s hate and fear mongering, not to mention racism.  So what Colbert did – even though not very PG 13 – was to turn the mirror around. I mean Trump really might as well have said “Mr. President i will donate 5 million to your charity of choice if you suck my balls.”  Trump used euphemisms while Colbert spelled it out. Brilliant.

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