Lauryn Hill Can’t Be Rich the Right Way

hillgoingtojail1

Lauryn Hill will be spending the next three months in the slammer for tax evasion. She made some $1.5 million a few years ago and didn’t pay the taxes on it. A modest earning by today’s entertainment industry salaries, if you ask me. One and a half mill is what Jay Z spends on booze and diamond-dust baby powder for Blue Ivy Carter.

Apparently being part of the 1% wasn’t enough for Hill, so she claimed that as a black person she is somehow entitled to not paying taxes. Right.

Memo to Lauryn Hill: when you are a fucking millionaire, you get yourself a fucking good financial advisor and team of lawyers and start getting into the whole hide-your-assets-through-loopholes thing. This is what all 1%ers do and now that you are no longer a slave (to poverty), you gotta get into this whole legal tax evasion thing, girl.

Obama worked hard to maintain that privilege for folks like you. Wouldn’t it be a shame if you wasted it all by actually paying your taxes?

Hide your money in offshore accounts, donate to a church you  created and take a tax deduction, say your prized horse makes you feel better about yourself and tax deduct it as a medical expense. I mean shit, if you play it right, you are probably even owed money back from the government. That’s how 1%ers remain the 1%. And you gotta get into it.  Look at all those Wall Street execs, Congressmen,  even presidential candidates: they are all doing it right while you keep doing it all wrong. But I guess that’s the nouveau rich person in you.

Regardless. When you have money you don’t just not pay taxes – that’s stupid and obvious.  You invest some money in a bunch of pros who help you to legally not pay them.

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  1. #1 by My Heathen Heart on May 10, 2013 - 8:41 PM

    Or (and at the risk of sounding like a broken record), we could just abolish taxes. What the hell do we need overfed, overpaid, corrupt, sycophantic, idiots running our lives and countries for, anyway?

    • #2 by popreflection on May 10, 2013 - 9:24 PM

      Abolishing taxes would be a terrible idea. I mean how do you think all the things we use and take for granted like infrastructure, like food inspection, like regulatory agencies such as the EPA that were created to protect health and environment and all those other myriad of things that are funded by tax dollars – including Medicare – would be paid for? The private sector that only cares about the profit motif or leave it at the mercy and discretion of rich people.

      Anarchy doesn’t work. Taxes are important and the most effective when a) those who are taxed are fairly taxed and everyone pays their fair share without loopholes and b) taxes go toward things that truly benefit the public, as opposed to things like disproportionately funding wars or subsidizing oil companies and special interests or giving out contracts to the military industrial process while other social programs are lacking. In other words, if done right, taxes can be a great thing. They are part of the social contract because society cannot function in anarchy. And a mechanism to fund all these public goods is needed. Private industry cannot be put in charge of governance and regulation because that is not its inherent function. That is why an impartial third party, a regulator, a governing body – who has no financial stake at this such as having to answer to shareholders, is needed.

      The idea of no taxes sounds really good in theory. In reality it is not possible. It is unclear how we would fund all of this, unless we do away with governments – which is also futile. The <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leviathan_(book)“>Leviathan is hailing…

      • #3 by My Heathen Heart on May 10, 2013 - 9:30 PM

        Oh you’re no doubt quite right. I just think life would be a lot simpler without idiot governments and taxes that break people’s backs, designed to prevent them from enjoying the fruits of their labor while increasing the gap between rich and poor.

        There’s no balance. Governments are mostly corrupt and treat their own people as ‘the enemy’. Where’s the joy?

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