Speak Of Being Ungrateful

Princesses never have bad-hair days thanks to private stylists who jet with them around the world

Princesses never have bad-hair days thanks to private stylists who jet with them around the world

These fucking royals. They seem to be operating under the archaic mindset that anyone who works for them is some indentured servant whose sole purpose in life must be to cater to their pompous needs and asses without any interests, rights and/or business ambitions on their own.

Case in point, James Pryce, the man who used to brush Duchess Kate’s hair a thousand times with a sterling silver brush every night and condition her locks with the sperm of William the Conquerer that’s kept in a jar in the dungeon. he was just recently fire for treason.

See, Pryce is the guy who used to work on her famous wedding mane and traveled with her when she was going on her world tour of awesomeness to make sure she is well groomed when posing for photo ops and exhuming her royal superiority on all the peons in the world who are clearly inferior to her because they aren’t, well, royal.

However, when Pryce started to gain some notoriety for his work on Kate’s hair, he quit the salon he worked at and began to move on his own. In order to promote his solo career he, according to some sources at The Daily Telegraph, launched a Facebook page and Twitter account which featured hundreds of pictures of Kate and her various hairstyles to promote his business. When the Palace found out, he was unceremoniously booted out for having violated her privacy or some shit.

Creating a portfolio of your work, which is what every artist  – from paint, to print, fashion, make up and hair  – does is apparently something you may not do when you work for your Royal Assness and her clan of usurpers who are wealthy beyond anyone’s wildest dreams  – and also apparently important and superior human beings –  for no reason other than a long established tradition that says so.

What really gets me, however, is this claim that apparently her privacy was violated – to which I can only say: when you become the wife of some famous rich prince with metric fucktons of money he never worked for  – and you never have to work for (other than birthing him a male offspring that is) – you know that you won’t have any “privacy” –  so just get over it. Seriously.

I am so tired of listening to wealthy people who make a million dollars in half an hour piss and moan about how hard life is because they don’t have any privacy. Fuck you, bitches. You can have my privacy in exchange for all the easy millions you got. Go count your blessings, assholes, and stop making an issue of it.

The man did you hair, the work he has done on your hair is part of his body of work which he has every right to promote and showcase because unlike you, he still does have to work for a living.

I know it must be hard going through life having to kill the time in between endless hair appointments, shopping sprees, soirees and hiring staff to wait on you hand and foot, but try to level with us mere peons, dear Kate, and remember that there are human beings on this planet who need to actually work for the things they got, including the person doing your fucking hair. And if that person wants to continue doing work and making a living, there are certain things he needs to do to promote himself, such as creating a portfolio showcasing his body of work.

Others write resumes, artists and creative people have portfolios, blogs and websites. That’s how people who don’t have everything handed to them just have to do.

Considering that more than half the world’s population is living in complete and utter poverty – thanks largely to the imperialist ambitions and a host of ravaging and devastating overseas and colonial policies of the very crown that is paying for your overpriced private, jet-setting hairstylist whom you just fired  – I find it shameful to be sitting here and making an issue of your privacy.

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