Posts Tagged beyonce

Beyonce Is Just Like the Rest of Us

 Beyonce lets her hair down to show she's just a regular 'round the way girl, a Jenny from the block...aww

Beyonce lets her hair down to show she’s just a regular ’round the way girl, a Jenny from the block…aww

What do you know? Even one per centers who perceive the world through a prism that is orders of magnitude different than what 98% of human kind goes through think they are “just human.” Just like the rest of us.

I present to you evidence one and only: Beyonce who posted some pictures of herself and her holy spawn on Tumbler pretending to do normal stuff.

I must say I like how Beyonce is always acting like she has a lot of grace and class while proceeding to then post some “common”, so-called mundane pics of herself to say that despite her high class and legend everything, she is still just the little girl next door who can have fun in the sun and whose dream, like that of all little girls, of becoming a mommy finally came true and that because of that pureness at heart clearly evident in the pictures and such a girl-next-door attitude (as well as Jesus rewarding her for all her faith, of course) we should not think of her as a vain, self absorbed, conceited diva who spends a million on a nursery or  hundreds of thousands of dollars on diamond encrusted baby bottles and pacifiers, copyrighting her child’s name, but as just the little, playful- girl lying on the lawn with her bike and bikini being just one of us.

How mighty oreo of her. She inspires me and if you believe in the American Dream and bootstraps narratives she should inspire you too to one day stroll around with your bike around a $ 80 million resort.

A bike and a $ 10,000 a night resort totally go together and definitely invoke the "girl next door" feel she is going for. Note the undone, bedroom-hair look for an extra tough of next-door-girl authenticity.

A bike and a $ 10,000 a night resort totally go together and definitely invoke the “girl next door” feel she is going for. Note the undone, bedroom-hair look for an extra touch of next-door-girl authenticity.

Everyone should be a millionaire,  as Romney once put. So come and dream folks, your first million is just waiting around the corner. Just hope you don’t die before you get there because you had no access to affordable health care and/or succumbed to various other things  – both metaphorically and literally – that keep people in bondage while perpetuating the lie that the bondage is just temporary because if you pull those worn out boot straps hard enough, you may one day be in the millionaires club, fulfilling your destiny as the American Dream realizer. Just like Beyonce.

Awww. She really is just one of us...

Awww. She really is just one of us…

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Quote of the Day

She's every woman

She’s every woman

Beyoncé pisses me off. She is such an out of touch, overprivileged and pretentious puke who rarely seems to be taking the time to examine her privilege, such as when she said this:

 “When I gave birth, that was the first time I truly let go and surrendered. And it taught me how amazing that feels… Giving birth made me realize the power of being a woman. I have so much more substance in my life. And expressing that excitement and that sensuality and the connection I have with my husband—I’m a lot more comfortable with that now. I actually feel like my child introduced me to myself.”

-Beyoncé, GQ

Yes, because that is totally what womanhood and being a woman and empowered is all about: giving birth. In fact, that is our entire raison d’etre as women…to give birth because otherwise we are nothing but unhappy, sloppy, weak, man hating, disgusting, bitter wrecks who don’t know themselves and are lost in a sea of meaninglessness just killing the time in between giving births.

I am so glad B is totally not validating the view of every misogynist, Right wing, Republican nut job who has worked long and hard to reduce a woman’s entire being and diminish her rights accordingly, based on her birth giving abilities and willingness, even going so far as to place the existence of a bunch of cells in the gestation period above the life and choices, autonomy, humanity, dignity and wishes of a woman.

Thanks Beyoncé, you privileged Oreo, for proving once again that women are, more or less, uteri attached to a female body with the added bonus of a fuck hole;  thank you for making being a woman and empowered all about reproductive capacity – especially adding salt to the wound of those who are reproductively challenged or experience some other health issue that makes giving birth hard or impossible and who are made to feel incomplete because of notions you perpetrate; not to mention those who simply may not want to be mothers because they do not define their happiness and sense of fulfillment and worth as a human being by whether they had a child or not. 

Thanks for not only making them all feel like worthless, incomplete human beings and women, but for also essentially validating the views of all who reduce a woman’s personhood and humanity to her reproductive capacity. 

Given such enlightened sentiments, I am totally surprised at the onslaught of legislative attacks on reproductive rights with law makers believing that they have every right to control and dictate and legislate a woman’s reproductive choices by, in fact, taking away those very choices they allege women have, forcing them to do something with their body they do not want to do, and thus without their consent –  much like a rapist who uses physical force to force a woman to do something she does not want and thus without her consent – even going so far as to declare a child resulting from an actual, literal, act of rape divine providence; legislators who assert that a woman’s personhood is debatable and that she has little rights if she doesn’t use her body to give birth.

I am not the word police here or trying to blow things out of proportion. I just really would like to point out how deeply entrenched patriarchy – and all of its adverse consequences for some – is in our society and that such sentiments say a lot about how these issues, especially women, are viewed and are viewing themselves. I know Beyoncé is deeply religious so that might definitely have something to do with her attitude of wholeness connected with motherhood.  Religion, after all, was born out of patriarchy, male dominance and misogyny.

This is also not a judgment on women who are parents and who made that choice. This is about a culture that works hard on many levels –  subtle or obvious, direct or indirect – to take away the choice from women who do not want to follow the traditional path; a culture that devalues and judges women, seeing them as less than or lacking in some way and thus being incomplete if they exercise their autonomy and choice, to not be a parent; a culture where women have to constantly justify and explain their private, reproductive,  family and lifestyle choices to strangers and law makers who look at them with astonishment and even a sense of pity for not being or not wanting to be a mommy; this is about women being socialized, encouraged, cajoled, and coerced into childbearing from the moment of birth.

So, Beyoncé, get back to never, never land with glitter and diamond encrusted pacifiers for the daughter whom you are going to teach all about the virtues of human and woman hood, namely giving birth. 

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Beyoncé is All Deep and Shit

There is nothing more annoying than a couple of nouveau rich, pretentious people trying to pass as a class act by pretending they had always been classy and blue blooded. Case in point: Beyoncé. Her holiness posted a passage from Rebecca Solnit’s A Field Guide to Getting Lost onto her Tumblr page to hint at the inspiration for her daughter’s copyrighted name Blue Ivy Carter ™.

Yes, copyrighted.

Brace yourself: that shit is really deep and apparently Beyoncé thinks by citing it, it makes her the deep, philosophizing kind as well.

Beyoncé and her little Messiah

The opening to “The Blue of Distance,” the second chapter, reads: “The world is blue at its edges and in its depths. This blue is the light that got lost.”

As The Atlantic Wire states that there is quite a deep meaning to Solnit’s poetic words as Solnit sees value in cherishing the desire she associates with the color, instead of treating desire as “a problem to be solved.” Or in other words, looking into the “blue of distance” without wanting the distance to go away.

Yeah. Not only are Beyoncé and her little golden messiah special human beings, but she is also very deep. Next stop: rocket science baby.

Why am I so pissy about a person I never met? Because arrogance and snobbishness are shitty attributes.

Humility, on the other hand, is a very rare and highly underrated virtue that unfortunately not many people – especially celebrities  – posses. I resent it when people think they are somehow more important and relevant human beings and their seed and breed superior to anyone else’s because they have more… money.

I mean really…copyrighting the name of your child and pretending your uterus and corresponding vagina are gold gilded and diamond encrusted and that you are so super special and womanly and just amazing for having given birth, when in reality what you did is what millions of animals do each day – including roaches and dung beetles: i.e. give birth – gives new meaning to the notion of bloated sense of importance.

The only thing that sets Beyoncé apart from everyone else  – thus giving her some sort of a sense of superiority – is that she has money. That’s all.

But what these two are doing, including renting out an entire wing of a hospital so she can give birth – is just tacky and there ain’t nothing deep about it.

I got it and I flaunt it like it’s no one’s business

Celebs these days have a huge sense of entitlement and are supremely narcissistic. Beyoncé and Jay-z’s tacky display of wealth further reminds one of pimps that carry their gold watches and necklaces and rings around on display to make sure everyone knows they have money.

Thing is, only cheap, class-less people display wealth in such an obscene manner. A real class act does not need to go on full display and parade it around like a pimp parades around his bling and shiny car.

Let’s face it. Beyoncé and Jay-Z are musicians who got lucky. Had they not gotten their break, like so many musicians, she’d be stocking shelves at Wal Mart and he’d be holding up convenience stores for diapers and cash.

Assholes.

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Stupid Things People Do: Naming Beyonce “World’s Most Beautiful Woman”

Every year, publicists for celebrities put in a bid with People Magazine agreeing to supply them with the most exclusive stories and photo spreads in exchange for the title of World’s Most Beautiful Woman. This year’s winning bid apparently came from Beyonce and her hard working publishing team because last week, People Magazine crowned her the most beautiful human being among 6 billions out there.

After doing what cockroaches, stink beetles, whales, and all other life forms do on this Earth – birthing – Beyonce attempted to make herself, her gold gilded vagina and cashmere laced uterus stand out from the rest of humanity and all life forms for that matter by citing that she felt more beautiful than ever after having given birth and that doing what every cockroach is capable of doing finally gave her purpose in life.

I don’t know. Try giving birth in a mud shack or a village with no running water instead of occupying an entire wing of a hospital at a whopping $1.3 million with all the doctors and nurses and staff ready to cater to your every whim and fancy, and then we can talk about your “accomplishment” of having given birth.

And no matter, it is insulting to be picking an individual among six billion out there and calling them the most beautiful person on Earth, thus indirectly declaring others average or even ugly. No wonder so many women have image and self esteem issues with eating disorders and getting plastic surgery to “fit” in. They all want to adhere to some “standard’ of beauty that is not even a standard and the methods by which one arrives at that conclusion questionable.

To even think that among the six billion on this planet some rich bitch with a million dollar wig collection, a $10,000 a day stylist and a $3000 hair cut has truly deserved that title is ridiculous. I mean yeah, who wouldn’t look good after all this work. Try looking glowing and gorgeous without rubbing your face, literally, in dollar bills and all the beauty they can buy and then we can talk how truly beautiful you are.

In a world obsessed with youth and beauty but plagued with serious issues, I must wonder if it is an accomplishment to win a contest that is based on how you look like as opposed to what you actually do.

And is it an accomplishment to win a beauty contest when you basically cheated? Winning a beauty contest when you are wealthy and have nothing better to do than looking good is like winning the marathon after you did steroids. It doesn’t count.

I really detest how people with unlimited resources stand there insulting our intelligence by saying “Hey, look at me, I am so accomplished“, pretending that their “accomplishment” – such as being pretty or getting pregnant despite cancer etc. – had nothing to do with their wealth, but was something from within. Like Beyonce would still be nominated most beautiful woman if she was cleaning toilets at Grand Central station instead of sitting on 500 million dollars.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and Beyonce is pretty, but most beautiful? Especially given the unlimited resources she had to get there? I don’t think so.

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