Posts Tagged Jay Z

Beyoncé is All Deep and Shit

There is nothing more annoying than a couple of nouveau rich, pretentious people trying to pass as a class act by pretending they had always been classy and blue blooded. Case in point: Beyoncé. Her holiness posted a passage from Rebecca Solnit’s A Field Guide to Getting Lost onto her Tumblr page to hint at the inspiration for her daughter’s copyrighted name Blue Ivy Carter ™.

Yes, copyrighted.

Brace yourself: that shit is really deep and apparently Beyoncé thinks by citing it, it makes her the deep, philosophizing kind as well.

Beyoncé and her little Messiah

The opening to “The Blue of Distance,” the second chapter, reads: “The world is blue at its edges and in its depths. This blue is the light that got lost.”

As The Atlantic Wire states that there is quite a deep meaning to Solnit’s poetic words as Solnit sees value in cherishing the desire she associates with the color, instead of treating desire as “a problem to be solved.” Or in other words, looking into the “blue of distance” without wanting the distance to go away.

Yeah. Not only are Beyoncé and her little golden messiah special human beings, but she is also very deep. Next stop: rocket science baby.

Why am I so pissy about a person I never met? Because arrogance and snobbishness are shitty attributes.

Humility, on the other hand, is a very rare and highly underrated virtue that unfortunately not many people – especially celebrities  – posses. I resent it when people think they are somehow more important and relevant human beings and their seed and breed superior to anyone else’s because they have more… money.

I mean really…copyrighting the name of your child and pretending your uterus and corresponding vagina are gold gilded and diamond encrusted and that you are so super special and womanly and just amazing for having given birth, when in reality what you did is what millions of animals do each day – including roaches and dung beetles: i.e. give birth – gives new meaning to the notion of bloated sense of importance.

The only thing that sets Beyoncé apart from everyone else  – thus giving her some sort of a sense of superiority – is that she has money. That’s all.

But what these two are doing, including renting out an entire wing of a hospital so she can give birth – is just tacky and there ain’t nothing deep about it.

I got it and I flaunt it like it’s no one’s business

Celebs these days have a huge sense of entitlement and are supremely narcissistic. Beyoncé and Jay-z’s tacky display of wealth further reminds one of pimps that carry their gold watches and necklaces and rings around on display to make sure everyone knows they have money.

Thing is, only cheap, class-less people display wealth in such an obscene manner. A real class act does not need to go on full display and parade it around like a pimp parades around his bling and shiny car.

Let’s face it. Beyoncé and Jay-Z are musicians who got lucky. Had they not gotten their break, like so many musicians, she’d be stocking shelves at Wal Mart and he’d be holding up convenience stores for diapers and cash.

Assholes.

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Stupid Things People Do: Naming Beyonce “World’s Most Beautiful Woman”

Every year, publicists for celebrities put in a bid with People Magazine agreeing to supply them with the most exclusive stories and photo spreads in exchange for the title of World’s Most Beautiful Woman. This year’s winning bid apparently came from Beyonce and her hard working publishing team because last week, People Magazine crowned her the most beautiful human being among 6 billions out there.

After doing what cockroaches, stink beetles, whales, and all other life forms do on this Earth – birthing – Beyonce attempted to make herself, her gold gilded vagina and cashmere laced uterus stand out from the rest of humanity and all life forms for that matter by citing that she felt more beautiful than ever after having given birth and that doing what every cockroach is capable of doing finally gave her purpose in life.

I don’t know. Try giving birth in a mud shack or a village with no running water instead of occupying an entire wing of a hospital at a whopping $1.3 million with all the doctors and nurses and staff ready to cater to your every whim and fancy, and then we can talk about your “accomplishment” of having given birth.

And no matter, it is insulting to be picking an individual among six billion out there and calling them the most beautiful person on Earth, thus indirectly declaring others average or even ugly. No wonder so many women have image and self esteem issues with eating disorders and getting plastic surgery to “fit” in. They all want to adhere to some “standard’ of beauty that is not even a standard and the methods by which one arrives at that conclusion questionable.

To even think that among the six billion on this planet some rich bitch with a million dollar wig collection, a $10,000 a day stylist and a $3000 hair cut has truly deserved that title is ridiculous. I mean yeah, who wouldn’t look good after all this work. Try looking glowing and gorgeous without rubbing your face, literally, in dollar bills and all the beauty they can buy and then we can talk how truly beautiful you are.

In a world obsessed with youth and beauty but plagued with serious issues, I must wonder if it is an accomplishment to win a contest that is based on how you look like as opposed to what you actually do.

And is it an accomplishment to win a beauty contest when you basically cheated? Winning a beauty contest when you are wealthy and have nothing better to do than looking good is like winning the marathon after you did steroids. It doesn’t count.

I really detest how people with unlimited resources stand there insulting our intelligence by saying “Hey, look at me, I am so accomplished“, pretending that their “accomplishment” – such as being pretty or getting pregnant despite cancer etc. – had nothing to do with their wealth, but was something from within. Like Beyonce would still be nominated most beautiful woman if she was cleaning toilets at Grand Central station instead of sitting on 500 million dollars.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and Beyonce is pretty, but most beautiful? Especially given the unlimited resources she had to get there? I don’t think so.

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